A lot has changed in my life recently. I'm realizing now that I have more changes to make going forward. Hopefully, by sharing my journey I'll stick to it.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Riding the Rollercoaster

I've had a lot of thoughts the last few weeks that I've been struggling to put into words. I apologize that I haven't gotten anything else up in the meantime. I'm still working on getting those thoughts together, but I did want to talk about the rollercoaster that has been the past 24 hours.

I had been semi-following the news coming out of Texas on SB5, the bill that would severely restrict abortion rights in the state. Now, I'm not in Texas, but I am a woman, and that's reason enough to care about the outcome. I watched the live-stream of the state Senate floor for about 4 hours until it cut out, and then turned it a feed showing the crowd out in the rotunda. In the end, I ended up going to bed at about 2:30 am as the chaos continued in Austin and Senators argued over whether or not the vote counted.

I woke up this morning to the news that the vote did not in fact count. The women of Texas could maintain control of their bodies. Shortly after the Supreme Court rulings on DOMA and Proposition 8 were announced. While the Prop 8 decision could have gone farther, both decisions were good enough to celebrate. The day was 3 for 3 and it wasn't even noon.

But then, in the midst of the celebratory tweeting and facebooking, something else popped up. Miguel, the good-natured, chatty, wonderful food service employee at my alma mater had passed away suddenly in his sleep. We all remember Miguel as someone who would talk and laugh with you as he cooked your food, handle special requests in stride, and maybe even throw in a little ribbing during football season if you were supporting the "wrong" team. Most of all, he treated us as individuals, not the key to his paycheck, and even remembers many of us when we are back to visit. So thank you, Miguel, for all the good you brought to our campus. RIP, and who knows, maybe heaven is where the Eagles have a good season.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


I'm officially in my third month of unemployment. I've had two interviews out of dozens of applications. I'm watching my back account diminish while my motivation tanks even faster. I'm trying to push myself through everything that needs to get done, but it's hard to be cheery and hopeful all the time. I can't talk about applications or where to look anymore. It feels like an exercise in futility. I know I need to clean the kitchen and work on dinner, but taking a nap and ordering pizza sounds so much simpler.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Catching Up

Alright, alright, I know I've been away for far too long. Life has been ... life. It's swung between awesome and frustrating and crazy and awesome. The frustrating part can be summed up pretty quick - no new updates on the job search. Otherwise, there have been two pretty crazy/awesome weekends back to back.

Last weekend C and I took a wild and crazy roadtrip up to visit our families for Memorial Day weekend. We left bright and super early Saturday morning to drive the six hours up to Northern New York. We met up with my parents at the nursing home where my grandmother lives for a visit before heading to C's parents to settle in (yup, I stayed there for the first time, not as awkward as I feared), then had dinner with both of our parents at the restaurant of the hotel where we will be having our reception. Bad news: there was not a single item in common between the catering menu and the dinner menu. Good news: the food was delicious and the chef cooking that night also does the special events. C and I finished out the night playing cards with his parents. It was a mostly relaxed way to spend time with them without the pressure of feeling that we needed to have "conversation".

Sunday morning C and I went to church with my parents, hoping to have a few minutes to talk to the minister after the service, since she will be one of the two ministers marrying us. (That's a story for another day). Turns out, she was on her post-Easter/Pentecost vacation. We can't really blame her, it just sucks that we couldn't see her on one of the rare occasions we were there, but that's what Skype is for. For the rest of the day, (no really, from like 1-8ish) we went to C's grandparents's house for a family gathering. I got to get more familiar with some of his cousins that I had only met once before, and his grandmother and I get along great, so it was pretty good for the most part. We've been together for about 5 and a half years, so I'm not exactly new to the family, but I'm not really one of them yet either. We're getting there.

Monday morning we all lost track of time, so the crazy really jumped out. I finished packing and loaded most of our bags into the car while C was still showering, but with all of our efficiency, we still missed the parade due to a mix-up with the time. We got to the end of the parade route 10 minutes after the parade started, just in time to catch the ceremony. From there, we raced to my parents' house to help set up for their annual Memorial Day picnic. C's parents and siblings got to meet most of my extended family and we all ate way too much, and then we got back in the car to drive back home. Thanks to construction (because leaving an interstate down to one lane on a holiday weekend is a good idea), it took just over 7 hours, so the unpacking just had to wait until the next day. All in all, it was a good trip, just not one I'd want to make every weekend!

So this weekend (the week was nothing special - job apps, laundry, the usual) C had to go out of town, but instead of having the apartment to myself, my MOH/friend from college R who I haven't seen a good 2-3 years came out to visit. We text and Skype and FB all the time, but it was awesome to just hang out and catch up. And, since she has been feeling like a professional bridesmaid lately, she was SO MUCH HELP. She's signed on to be the mom/crazy aunt buffer, leaving my two other bridesmaids and one of my aunts to wrangle my truly out of control cousin and aunt. (Kid's fourteen and hit my mom last summer because she squished a bug on the picnic table. Her mama did nothing. Out. Of. Control.) Since my bridesmaid K lives here too, the three of us went bridesmaid dress shopping and had success. I didn't have a huge vision beyond the color so I gave the three of them a lot of leeway (L provided input ahead of time). Basically, I feel like they're the ones that have to wear them and they have been dressing themselves for a couple decades now, so as long as I don't hate it, we're good. I really like what we've ended up with. It's not what I expected, but it makes perfect sense for June, especially for a church with no air conditioning. R and K hit it off awesomely. After finishing up our shopping we grabbed dinner and hung out for a few hours. Also this weekend, I designed our save the dates (just need C to approve them - but R, K and I love them), and found a basket hanging out in our apartment that will work well for holding the programs. Ok, the programs don't exist yet, but we can't make those until the ceremony is written. We have a year still. I'm not freaking out yet, just accomplishing as much as possible.