A lot has changed in my life recently. I'm realizing now that I have more changes to make going forward. Hopefully, by sharing my journey I'll stick to it.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Getting Back in the Groove

Good intentions have a way of getting the best of me. Of course, that is no reason to quit trying. Blogging, being healthy, taking care of myself -they all have slipped and struggled over the last eight months. Now, it's time for a clean slate. 

As far as getting back into blogging is concerned, I might as well get started. I actually scheduled this post to go live on my birthday at the time of my birth. I'm sure there's some sort of symbolism there. (Really, that's about 6.5 hours from the time I'm writing this so it's not like I scheduled a huge delay.)

C and I have settled into a routine, life has changed, and we've adapted our routine to fit it. In fact, things are going so well, that this happened in September. 
We're giving ourselves lots of time to plan since we want to go back to our hometown to get married. So, June 7, 2014 is the day we take the next big step. It seems so far away, but hopefully it will go fast.

I mentioned when I last posted ages ago that I had taken a job at a call center. It turned out to be very damaging. I had two chronic health issues dramatically escalate and started having panic attacks at work. Eventually, I made the decision to leave after just over a year. I'm still unemployed (and searching), but C still has income coming in and I had been able to build up some savings, so I'm OK for now. I'm still working to see that leaving this job is not necessarily failure on my part, just the inevitable result of a horrible fit. Square peg, meet round hole.

In my new-found free time, I've gotten more "domesticated". I've always enjoyed cooking and baking, but now I'm experimenting more and not restricting myself to quick and easy. Obviously quick and easy has a place, but slow and not too complicated can be so wonderful as well. 
All three of those meals (and more) came out of a kitchen so small that the oven door is about 2-3 inches away from the front of the washer when it's open, and is only about 6-8 feet long. So I don't want to hear your excuses about having a crappy kitchen.

Confession: I'm an emotional eater. The last few months have taken a toll on the scale. I bought my wedding dress in November (didn't intend to, it just happened), so I need to make sure I still fit in it a year from now. If I keep doing what I was doing, that's just not going to happen. The holidays happened and then stress got worse and, well, it wasn't pretty. To the tune of gaining back the 8 pounds I lost last summer/fall and then an extra 10. C and I have made a renewed effort to go to the gym and eat better (I'm in charge of getting veggies into us and we're both watching portions). I have the C25K app on my phone and I'm doing well so far. We're both using MyFitnessPal to keep track of what we're eating in relation to the exercise we're doing. I want to stick with this to form new habits, because when I am logging food, I think twice before I eat something to consider whether or not I actually want to admit to eating it. It helps me to put the junk down. I need to do that. But, it's also nice to look at the numbers and see that a little something sweet won't ruin the day or week.

So this is where I am. I'm working with what is and striving for what I want to be. Maybe I can make the two meet in the middle.

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